- Me: *sits in towel for 6 months after showering*
- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.
- danish government: DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BORROW WE GIVE YOU MONEY EVERY MONTH WHILE STUDYING DON'T WORRY.
when i was younger i had a really bad fear of vampires when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse the vampires and they would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon
Your brother is the best